https://prisonersolidarity.org/alikhalidabdullah-htm/
June 12, 2006
We, at the Ali Khalid Abdullah Archive, want to preseverve all the peices of writing & poetry that Ali put out in his time with us, however we want to point out that we don’t agree with everything he said. The gender essentiaialism in this peice would’ve got him some strongly worded letters from us if we read it when he was alive. However, we leave it here for you to read and come to your own conclusions.
There are many reasons why a man would cheat on his significant other, but they are varied and complex, and they also relate to the character of person in question.
Many men who cheat are unsure of their worth and have a need to constantly prove their own relevance. Others cheat because of a lack of good morals, or spiritual and ethical principals. While, still others cheat because they haven’t learned how to be loyal and faithful committed to a woman (regardless of how good she is to him).
If we examine the concept of cheating (of unfaithfulness and two-timing), we encounter some fundamental misplaced value judgments. That is, we see a need to conquer and conquest, which does offer a momentary sense of adequacy. But it is fleeting. In order to continue the euphoric pleasure, one has to constantly repeat the act. It is similar to the addict, who takes drugs and alcohol in excess.
Cheating is also ultimately an act of failure because, more often than not, it destroys trust, respect, loyalty, honesty, love and the moral fibers of family (i.e. husband, wife, intimate relationships, friendships, social cohesion). The cheater and the cheated both end up unhappy in the long run.
A man who feels compelled to cheat on his woman does not fully love, value, treasure or cherish her. Otherwise, he would consciously refrain from committing the act. Usually, cheating is purely as an act of sexual gratification, an act of animal lust.
Men are visual creatures as opposed to women, who are as a rule more emotionally stimulated to what moves them inwardly. So, many cheating men seek new flesh, regardless of how wholesomely good their women are. I don’t cheat because I have a different value system and a different consciousness – a consciousness that isn’t superficial or laden by an interest in physical looks, but is impressed by character, content, spiritual union, mental oneness, etc. However, I was not always this way. I grew and learned to value the feelings of a woman, and my own feelings as well.
Men and women who feel it is not an issue to cheat will never find out what true happiness is.
Revenge cheating is no better than the cheating of the initial perpetrator. Revenge cheating is nothing more than a desperate cry to get even. And to do so cheapens one’s own self-esteem. So, in my opinion, both kinds of cheating is no good.
If a woman has suffered from cheating, she needs to move forward and not to judge all men based on her past experiences. The same applies to a man. Faithful love and relationships are the hallmark principles of God, and of every religious and social standing. However, whether we choose to honor and respect as individuals is another manner.